I wanted to start a blog because things are a little tough for me at the moment. I don’t want to moan at my relatives and friends, and I don’t want to put any more burden on my partner, so I thought this might be a good way of getting things off my chest a bit.
Things are generally good in my life and I have a good quality of life, and I have a great partner and children. Money isn’t a problem, in fact I am working part-time at the moment and am instead doing a degree course.
It’s a four-year course and at the end of the I’m hoping it will open new doors and present fresh opportunities for me.
I am struggling with it a bit, busy family life and work, plus the workload of the course are making things tough. I’m also a mature student so my background is a long way from the days of education, so I’m struggling with some of the basics. This is making me stressed and anxious and I’m hoping I can resolve that soon. But that’s why am writing this blog, so that I can maybe spot these problems and head them off.
I have an acute fear of failure in me. It’s always been there and if I feel I’m struggling I start to panic and I will turn and run, or I will alternatively use any methods to get there, I suppose I have an extreme fight or flight reaction, and sometimes I struggle to find the balance in the middle ground. This could cause problems for me, which is why I am hoping that writing this blog may me the opportunity to spot problems before they get serious.
Anyway, I probably sound a bit crazy and if you are reading this you are probably wondering why on earth would want to read this blog again. But that’s the point really, it’s not being written to entertain or inform anybody. It’s basically just a little outlet for me to put my thoughts and process them a bit better.